Like You
by Ember718
Summary: Based on an Evanescence Song for inspiration. Edward leaves Bella, again. Leaving her behind to pick up the pieces. Will he return? If it does, will he be the same as she remembers him? Rated M for precaution. B/E&B/J in the beginning. A/Jas Em/R C/Es
1. Prologue

"Bella, I have to leave"Not again. No, this can't be happening again. He promised he would never leave me, never again.

Why is this happening??? "Your promised!"

Edward hung his head "Bella, I'm leaving so you aren't in danger. They have forced me, my hands are tied. Either I leave quietly or they will kill you"

_Stay low.  
Soft, dark, and dreamless,  
Far beneath my nightmares and loneliness.  
I hate me,  
For breathing without you.  
I don't want to feel anymore for you._

"Who! Tell me...no... change me, Edward. I can become immortal like you and we won't have to worry!" I could tell that he was contemplating this "No, Bella, please... I will find a way back, I just... I can't argue this anymore. I have to go."

_Grieving for you,  
I'm not grieving for you.  
Nothing real love can't undo,  
And though I may have lost my way,  
All paths lead straight to you._

"Edward, please, don't do this..." she was tearing up...the pain was unbearable. I couldn't handle seeing her break down like this because of me. "Bella, I love you. I will always love you. Find another life, Bella. I know you can. You have the power now. To make your life what you wanted."

_I long to be like you,  
Lie cold in the ground like you._

"I want to be with you Edward...like you. Edward, I want to be with you eternally, immortally."  
He was struck, every time I thought of being immortal with him, I could tell he thought of the chances, "Bella, please... I have to... I can't watch you hurt anymore Bella, I must leave."

_Halo,  
Blinding wall between us.  
Melt away and leave us alone again.  
The humming, haunted somewhere out there.  
I believe our love can see us through in death._

"No! Edward, please..." I was begging. I didn't want him to leave. "Please... don't leave again. Don't hurt me like this again."  
Edward touched my cheek, but pulled away all too quickly "It's for your own good Bella. Please trust me."  
Tears fell down my face.

_I long to be like you,  
Lie cold in the ground like you.  
There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,  
I'm coming for you._

"Please...Edward..." I could barely talk through the sobs "Just...make me like you. Let us be together...let us be.."

_You're not alone,  
No matter what they told you, you're not alone.  
I'll be right beside you forevermore_.

I couldn't take her agony...I couldn't watch her suffer because of me. I walked away but whispered "You'll never be alone, Bella. I will always be here..."

_I long to be like you,   
Lie cold in the ground like you did.  
There's room inside for two  
and I'm not grieving for you._

"Change me... Edward..." Her voice was getting more and more distant.

_And as we lay in silent bliss,  
I know you remember me._

"I will always love you, Bella... always."

_I long to be like you,  
Lie cold in the ground like you.  
There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,  
I'm coming for you._

I'll find you Edward, I'll do anything to be with you this time. I won't give up without a fight. I'll never let you go. No matter what it takes... I'm coming for you...


	2. Love

"Bella...Bella wake up.."

Jacob was lying next to me, holding me in his arms. I could tell there was a bit of attitude in his voice, but not directly at me "Bella...you were dreaming about him again..."

I shifted from side to side next to Jacob, "How do you know?"

"You were saying his name and crying..." he said very directly. _Oh,_ i thought to myself. "I'm sorry Jake."

"Bella, it's been over a year, why can't you come to terms with the fact that he isn't coming back this time."

"Because he came back last time..." I wanted to yell at him but I didn't. It always hurt him that he knew I was waiting for Edward. That he knew he was only second choice, but he said he'd take whatever he could get from me. He said with enough time, he knew I could love him more then Edward. Fat chance I always thought to myself.

"Jacob...I think i have to go home today. See Charlie, do you think we could hang out later though?"

"Sure Bells, where you wanna meet?"

I shrugged, "Just pick me up later." Jacob nodded, and kissed me softly on the lips, mine barely responding, but responding enough to merit a smile to his face. His lips were smooth, soft and warm. They had texture and gave a little when mine pressed against them.

At home, I laid on my bed. It had been well over a year since Edward said he had to leave me, than his hands were tied, and he couldn't get out of it. Where was he? What did he have to do? Why was it so important? But, mostly, why couldn't I get over him? I still hadn't told Jacob I loved him, though he was convinced that I did. We were happy enough together. I could see myself with him forever. Even all the werewolf stuff he pulled. I can think of a few times when he ran out of the house because he couldn't control his emotions around me any longer. Jacob was so much different from Edward, it was easy to fall in love with him. Edward will always be who I long to be with, and I will never understand fully the connection we have, but Jacob can make me happy too. I wouldn't mind spending my life with him, if it came down to that.

I always end up thinking about dangerous things, it's an adrenaline rush for me, I still hear Edward in my head, talking to me while I attempt to shorten my life potentially. Jacob doesn't know, he'd be really upset if he did. He just thinks i'm somewhat of a dare devil. We've jumped off the cliffs together before, hand in hand, but every time, I didn't feel Jacob, I felt Edward. He was screaming at me, telling me all the reasons why this was a bad idea. Telling me how much he loved me, and how he didn't want me to end up dead. Then it would all stop when I hit the water, and Jacob would wrap his big arms around me and hold me in the swirling water, and i'd be brought back to who I am now.

Who am i? I'm Isabella Swan, and i'm in love with two monsters. What more can I say, danger is ever present in my life. The man I love, the man I will always love, has left... again. The man I should learn to love, the man I should want to love... loves me more then anything else on this earth.


	3. Hate Me

Waking up in Jacob's arms for the next several months were more torturous then the previous. Every morning I would wake up in hopes that it was Edward, and every morning, I would feel the pain of disappointment. 

I had to get away from this town, form this life. I was out of high school now, had been for little over a year, I should start college somewhere. I lost interest in school after Edward left, but now that I know I will never be able to forget him. I was accepted to almost every college I wanted, and now that I didn't have to worry about Edward's brilliant skin showing in the sun, I could choose from any of them.

Harvard was too much for me, I didn't want all of that. I would have to think about this a little better. Review my options again, and talk to the schools. This would take several months... and Jacob... what would he do?

**MONTHS LATER**:

I put myself in somewhat of a trance the last several months. Jacob was happy for me, but I could tell he was upset that we wouldn't be together as often. He offered to come with me, but I told him that it was his choice, and not mine. If he wanted me that badly he would choose later on.

Being enrolled at Dartmouth for almost half a year wasn't bad. It's pretty simple, even without Edward around to tell me all the answers and help me study. I was currently enrolled as an English major, but I was considering changing to Art. I wasn't in school for any set career, I was still certain that I would be dead before my twenty sixth birthday. My twenty first was little ways away, and I never let anyone know my birthday anymore. I have made a few friends, but mostly they are all here for the lapse in time. I found out the hard way that it is not healthy to sit in your apartment all day and do school work.

I do e-mail Angela every now and then. She's getting married soon... I was suppose to be married. I didn't let myself think of that though. I hadn't heard Edward's voice in almost a few months, and now I feel like I don't even know it anymore.

There was a knock on my apartment door, and I wondered who it was. All my "friends" were either in school or out on the town, no one ever just came over to my place. I turned the door knob and opened it. It was raining outside, and I couldn't clearly see the shadow at my front steps. He came forward and every breath in me escaped. The copper hair wet and matted to his pure granite skin, his topaz eyes were etched with more age then I ever saw. He had scars on his once flawless body. What happened to my Edward?

"Edward..." I mouthed incoherently. I could tell he was straining himself more then normal around me. The time apart must have caused my blood to become appitizing again. "Bella..." he said through clenched teeth.

"What's wrong Edward?"

"I..." he was losing his grip "I have come..." he fell to one knee, in attempts to strain himself "I have come to..." and then suddenly it all fell away, he picked himself back up and then stated "Are you going to invite me in Bella?"

I opened the door wide and let him dry off in my bathroom, "Edward, where have you been?"

He gave a reluctant shift on the couch "I have been working... for the Volturi."

I gasped "Why?"

"If i hadn't agreed they would have killed you. I would have been stopped. They had all the Cullens watched. They all would have been stopped as well."

The scars, probably from fighting newborns and rogue vampires.

"Bella, i'm more unsafe now, then ever before. You shouldn't have let me in your house."

"Wait... how did you find me?"

"I will never forget your scent Bella, ever!"

I blushed, and thought of my human scent that all vampires seemed to enjoy. "How is everyone?" I asked politely to keep conversation.

"They are all well, Emmett and Rose have for a little while to start a life of their own in England, Alice assures us that they will be back though. Alice and Jasper are still with Carlisle because Jasper is still having a hard time, but he is getting much better."

I nodded and smiled at the news. "How have you been?" I asked him with a bit of reluctance.

"I have been horrible. I don't know why I am condemning myself to this sort of treatment, but they have me in their beck and call at all times. It's a wonder why I left now, I've put you in great danger by trying to find you again. I couldn't go another moment without seeing you, and since I missed your last birthday..." he started to take something out of his pocket.

"Edward, no. I don't celebrate my birthday anymore. I don't even really know how old I am..."

"Bella Swan. You are going to be twenty-one tomorrow, and I want to give you something." He took out of his pocket a silver looking necklace with diamond teardrop at the end. "It has a story behind it, since I know you appreciate my gifts better when they are sentimental."

I took it in my hands, and realized it wasn't silver, it was platinum. "What is the story?"

"I cried for the first time since I have been changed, because of you. I wanted to immortalize my tears, that you caused, my humanistic features that you brought out, in this necklace. I want you to carry with you my human side, my tears forever."

The story was more then I could image. It was beautiful.

"Do you love him?" The question was sudden and very frank.

"Who?"

"The dog..." he said without any emotion.

I thought about it for a minute, I suppose I did miss Jacob to a degree, but love... "I don't think so..." I said in a way that suggested I was still debating the answer.

Edward reached for my hand "Would you forgive me Bella, if I killed you?"T

hat question was more sudden and almost instilled fear in me, "I would forgive you for anything Edward," but the answer I gave was even more shocking even to me.

He smiled sweetly, I had never feared him, and I never would. "Bella, I came here tonight to kill you. The Volturi said that since I did not transform you that I must kill you. I cried because I realized that I had to do this... that if I didn't it would be worse for you."

"Then transform me Edward!"

"I can't Bella, not anymore. You have such a perfect human life. I wouldn't want you to become immortal just to spare your life. Death is a much sweeter option."

Tears were rolling down my face, why was he denying me still the one thing I wanted more then anything. "Please don't cry Bella. Know that there is no one else for me. Know that if I could save you any other way, I would."

"Edward, please... don't do this. I want to be like you... I swear, i want to be like you!"

"No Bella, the time for that has passed and I failed to recognize that you were right. I should have changed you before, but I didn't, and now your blood will be spilled, but I want it to be no one other then me, Bella. I will give you such a sweet death. You will not feel pain, I promise..."

"Edward, don't make me die, alone, don't make me die without you..."

"Sweet, Bella, who said I wasn't going to die with you... I will always be your Romeo..." He dipped his perfect mouth to my neck and kissed me sweetly, my body melted into his. I trembled in the wake of cold kisses he left softly on my skin "I love you, Bella Swan."

I shuddered at the words my murderer sang to me, and responded "I love you more, Edward Cullen."

He bit down hard, and I could feel trickles of blood seep out of the gash he created. I did not flinch, he promised me no pain, and he delievered me no pain. He bagan to drink me, like a fountain. I could tell my heart was racing to keep up with the blood loss. Before my body became limp and I passed out, I heard a very familiar voice call out from the surroundings "Edward!! What are you doing!" As I fell into a blackout, I thought to myself... _Carlisle_?


	4. Alone

Edward was flung across the room, and crashed against the back wall of Bella's apartment. Carlisle ran towards Bella, and pressed firmly against the gaping wound on her neck. "Why did you do it, Edward? What is wrong with you? Don't you understand she is your mate!" 

Edward stood up quickly, pain etched in face "I... Carlisle, I'm a different person now. The Volturi control me. They don't let me live unless I do what they say."

Carlisle shook his head "Why didn't you just change her, she wants to be with you, Edward. Be with you eternally!"

Edward just looked down at the floor, and walked out the door, before the door shut behind him he whispered "She is everything to me... I just wanted more for her... so much more."

Carlisle took out his medical kit, and started stitching up Bella's neck up, realizing soon that she would die of blood loss no matter what. Carlisle cradled Bella in his arms, holding her to his body. He took a deep breath, and bit her hard, he did not drink though, he released his venom into her body. Bella was unconscious so she did not feel the initial burn of the venom, though he stayed with her all night. Keeping her safe, and making sure she was as comfortable as possible. Carlisle decided he couldn't have her in the apartment anymore. He traveled to the house in Forks they had, and kept her there, in his study. Esme met him there to keep him company. He watched Bella day and night. Watched her at her worst, and debated what would happen when she awoke.

Alice and Jasper showed up when Alice realized what had happened. She took Bella's hand and wished her luck. Jasper sat next to her in bed, and kissed her cheek, which was drenched in a cold sweat. She moaned and sometimes whispered Edward's name. Carlisle couldn't believe that even after what Edward tried to do to Bella, she still loved him. She still needed him.

As Bella started waking up, Carlisle lifted her head up, "Are you okay my dear?"

She opened her eyes, they were blood red, and she was angry "What is happening to me?" She was shaking violently.

"Here, Bella, drink this." Warm blood, from a grizzly bear. She drank it quickly and then screamed "I want more!"

Jasper walked in the room, and Bella's eyes became topaz, she looked at Carlisle, "Help me... I don't want to be a monster Carlisle. I know what you did was to save my life, but I cannot take a human's life. Don't let me, ever."

A promise Carlisle intented to keep.

**BPOV**:

Emmett showed up a couple weeks after my change. I did not know how to be a part of society, I lost control of my emotions too quickly and walked a bit too fast. I couldn't help it, I did not have control over body's new skills. My emotions were constantly spiking from one extreme to another. Carlisle took me out hunting almost every other day. His theory was to make me used to animal blood before ever introducing me to what human blood smelled like. I couldn't go into Forks, until Alice saw that I wasn't a danger anymore, I was to remain in the comforts of my house.

I thought of Jacob...did he still love me? Did he even know what I was anymore... I wanted to see him, maybe I should call.

The phone rang and finally Jacob answered "Hello."

"Jake..." my voice was hallow.

"Bella!! What's going on? Are you okay? You should upset."

"I'm... i'm fine Jack. I'm in town"

"You are! That's really great!" I could tell he was excited.

"Yea, something really important has come up. Will you meet me open meadow, near the Cullen house, alone." There was silence on the other line, I could tell bringing up the Cullens made him fear Edward was back. "It's not about him..." i stated quickly.

"Anything for you Bells, you want to meet me now?"

"Sure, five minutes okay?"

He agreed silently and the phone was dead.

Alice was next to me "Are you sure about this?"

"He has to know, Alice... I have to know whether he still cares"

"Why"

I thought about it for a minute "Because... I love him"

She looked at me, seeing the desperation inside my eyes. She nodded and I was out the door in seconds. Running, the way all the Cullens ran, to the meadow. When I reached it, the suddenly memory of Edward flashed into my eyes, but I pushed it away. It was too hard to think about Edward. He wasn't Edward anymore, not mine, not a Cullen. He was a Volturi... he was one of them.

Jacob showed up within a couple minutes and scrunched his nose "Bella. I thought you said alone." He was on edge because of the smell I was giving off now.

I lowered my head "Jacob... we are alone. What you smell is me."

"But Bella... you smell like a blood-" he stopped dead in his tracks. I could tell he was fighting his emotions bad. "Bella...did they?"

"It's not what you think Jacob. If Carlisle hadn't..."

"CARLISLE!!" The words ran through the forest.

"Jacob, please, let me explain!" I wanted to cry, but immortals don't cry.

"Jacob, I would have died!" His emotions subsided, he was trying to figure out what I meant and if I was lieing to him, "Die?"

"Edward showed up... when I was at school..."

"And..." he said impatiently.

"He tried to kill me..." I moved my hair away from my neck, to show the great scar that ran down my neck, resembleing half of a broken heart, a jagged where his teeth sank into my neck and a huge opening where he ripped my neck open. Jacob's anger flared again "Is he with...them?" he said with great malice.

"No... he's alone now. I don't know where he is. Carlisle saved my life."

Jacob, I could tell he wanted to run and hold me, I could see that all he wanted was to touch me, but he forced himself to distance himself. "Jack... you don't care about me anymore?"

He straighted up, looking at me with great distain "You are one of them now Bella... your the enemy. Have you tasted human blood yet?"

"Carlisle promised me he would never let that happen."

Jacob scoffed. "Always the humanitarian isn't he?"

I was hurt, I wanted his acceptance more then anything, but to him I was nothing more then a monster. I lowered my head, and began walking back home. He grabbed my arm, and pulled me into a huge warm embrace. "Bella...why?" He skin was hot against my own coldness. He face was so close to mine. The pain within him was unbearable.

"I was going to die Jack... I didn't have a choice."

I could feel wet drips fall onto my cheek. Jacob was crying. He kissed me, hard on the lips, I kissed him back, but he soon shot away from me. "Your cold, Bella. Your lifeless, and your beautiful lips don't give when I kiss them. They are stone. You are stone."

I was ashamed. I felt like garbage, I ran off. Faster then he could have caught me. I ran back to the Cullens. I was nothing... immortal, and alone. This isn't what I wanted. I wanted Edward to be with me eternally, now i'm only eternally alone.


	5. Years Pass

_AN: How are you guys liking the fan fic so far? Like it? Dislike it? Neutral? Mostly just bored! LOL! Well, please review some more. I'd love feedback. Thank you so much for your thoughts. Thanks and enjoy the new installment._

* * *

The years passed and I saw Jacob now and again. It wasn't the same, yet I could tell that everytime he saw me, pain would remain in his eyes, as he trys to fight his love for me. We were so different now. 

We tried to make it work, for a long time, I thought it just might. I moved in with him, but eventually the only thing we did was argue. He couldn't stand my smell nor I his, though after time we quit bickering about it. When a year came and went and nothing had changed between us, we knew it was best we go our separate ways.

Years, upon years came and went without a single glance. The time moved more quickly, and it left me a bit shaken and very reserved. I had become more closed up then before. Never truly revealing anything to anyone, save for Carlisle. I couldn't come to terms with what I had become very easily, and especially around Jacob. Everyone moment I saw him ripped a new part of me open. I had been scarred and wounded, and I would never be the Bella I once was.

Jacob and I remained friends for a good while, but soon Jacob started to age and I did not, and seeing each other started to take a toll on both our mental states. After twenty years of a good friendship, we decided to end that as well, and with that end Carlisle decided it was best we move away from Forks. He had stopped practicing medicine after I was transformed, and we... The Cullens remained in the house for my benefit only.

Carlisle had taken me under his wing has his new daughter. He taught me everything I needed to know, and showed me what life as a vampire was like without having to take a human life. To this day, i remain the only Cullen who had never tasted human blood. Carlisle held me when Charlie died, and then soon after when Renee passed as well. He told me that seeing the ones you love around you die are were worst parts of being immortal. When I came to him and told him how Jacob had gotten so old, he knew it was time for us to leave. He understood what I meant when I told him "Jacob has gray hair now..." He understood that I couldn't bear to watch Jacob die before my eyes.

The night before we left, I wrote a note to Jacob, so he understood my feelings before passing on:

_**Jake, **_

_**I love you so much, words cannot describe. We are two different creatures, and for that reason alone I curse what I am. The greatest regret in life I have, is that I could not die with you. Could not watch the children we could have had grow older and bare their own children. I love you. You are the best friend I could have ever asked for. We showed everyone how mortal enemies, can also become the greatest love of each other. When you die, a part of me will die as well. You were the only one who called me Bells, and Bells will die with you Jake. She was yours, and only yours. You have her heart for all eternity. Goodbye, Jacob Black. **_

_**Love Always, **_

_**Bells.**_

Jacob and I had more time then usual given to us. He did not start aging until forty years after my transformation. We had a bond that could not be broken, not even by a treaty. I was, and still am, the only vampire that can cross onto Quilette territory and have a werewolf embrace her. Jacob's death sent shock waves pulsating through my body. My family and I had started traveling through Canada, never staying in one location for more then a couple months. We were slowly going to head back to Europe. When I felt Jacob pass, Carlisle knew I was going to venture back to La Push. He would wait for me, I knew that.

In La Push, I stood in the back in silence, never causing commotion to myself. I saw Jacob's body in the casket. He seemed peaceful, not as aged. He seemed to have had a bit of youth brought back to him. I wished I could touch him, but after a second thought I realized his cold body would be so foreign to me, I would rather remember him as my eternal furnace. The pain was too great to bare, and after watching his funeral procession, I placed a single rose on his grave, and left to rejoin my family.

Carlisle met me at the door with open arms, and I ran into them like a scared little girl. I sobbed endlessly into his chest as he stroked my hair and hushed my whimpers. After I had become emotionally drained I turned to him "That's it...that's everyone Carlisle. Does it get easier now?"

He gave me a sad smile and replied "If loneliness is easier, Bella"

I looked down at the ground, registering what he had told me. _Loneliness,_ I thought to myself, and for some reason, a face I had not thought of in some sixty years came to my mind..._Edward_, I thought quietly inside my head.


	6. Gift

My jagged heart shaped scar on my neck started to throb as I thought of the man who almost took my life so many years ago. The man, who is the reason why I am now immortal, and alone. 

At one point in my life, I wanted to be immortal. I wanted to live with Edward for eternity, because all I needed was his love, but that all changed, when I became immortal without him, when I became immortal alone. Another fifty years would pass before Edward ever crossed my mind again.

Over a century had already passed since I was first transformed into a vampire. Alice and I became closer since our vampire strengths were so similar. When I was human, my dreams told stories of things to come, and now, as a vampire, instead of a dream, I would live what was going to happen. Unlike Alice who had visions, I had full bodied hallucinations. It was hard for any of the Cullens to understand, but when I had a vision, I was inside my vision, living it out in real life.

I did not have my first vision until a century after my transformation. Alice can predict things on a fairly normal basis, my predictions have to always be able people I care about, the Cullens to be more precise, or myself.

This was my first vision...

_"Excuse me-" My breath was shortened when the copper haired man dropped the hood of his robe down and faced me, "Edward..." the difficulty breathing didn't happen this time, as it was I didn't actually have to breathe anymore.  
His eyes were strangers, and I knew he did not recognize me "Can I help you madam?"  
Everything changed when I saw his face, and I said "You don't... remember me..."  
He looked confused"There are so many beautiful women I have come across... i'm sorry if your beautiful face doesn't strike me right away. May I ask your name?"  
Those words stabbed me a million times, I couldn't bare to image Edward with other women, many other women... how many? Did he have a new mate?  
"Bel- Betty..." I did not want him to know me at first.  
He looked at me strangely, "Funny, I don't know a Betty, but your face did seem remarkably familiar... someone I haven't seen in..." his voice trailed off. I could tell his mind was working overdrive. "Did you know anyone named Bella Swan... lived about a century ago. She must have died already if she even survived..." again his voice was gone. I could tell he was thinking of the night he tried to kill me.   
"Bella Swan?" I tried to sound clueless, but I was always such a horrible liar.   
"You know her?" Excitement was in his voice, and I couldn't lie to him anymore.   
"I am Bella Swan."_

I came back, to the real world, all the Cullens were looking at me. Carlisle embraced me and said "What just happened Bella?"

I was slightly disoriented, "What... where am I? I thought I was in Italy! What's going on!" I was so confused. Everything was so real, and Alice came beside me, "This is the gift you have."

I fell to the floor, in Carlisle's arms.He kissed me lightly on the cheek. "Bella, your okay. Please, tell us what happened."

"Edward...he's in Italy. Still with... them..."

Everyone held their breath, it had been many years since his name was brought up. They missed Edward so much, but it seemed no one was able to ever mentioned him, even speak his name, until now. "He is doing well..." i stated. I knew they were all worried. Carlisle's face stiffened "Edward..." his expression was that of a severly disappointed father.


	7. Forgiveness

AN: Sorry it took so long, I went on vacation. :) But i am back now, and here is the latest chapter, I hope you like it. There is more to come! Please Review!!!

* * *

I twisted and turned with the different passages inside Volterra. The marketplace was busy with innocents and immortals alike. They lives in silent harmony here, though none of these vampires were vegetarian, like I or the Cullens. 

I ran into him... I held my breath tightly. The instinct to flee kicked in, but I stood my ground. His hood fell off, and there before me was the exact same face that sought to kill me. The same face that I kissed so many centuries ago, fell in love with so many centuries ago. The same face that I would have given up my mortality for. The same face, that I still irrevocably loved. "Excuse me Miss-"

My breathing was but sharp swift intakes. His hair was the beautiful copper I still remembered clearly. The sting of tears would have crossed my eyes, had I be mortal. "Edward..." I whispered.

He eyes were different, strangers. They were lost, and he was cold, but not in temperature alone.

"Can I help you?" His voice was a sonnet in my head. I wanted to cling to him, but my scar was throbbing now. The venom that caused my wound was closer. "You... don't remember me?"

Confusion came over his face as he registered my question "There are so many beautiful women I have come across... I am truly sorry if your beautiful face doesn't strike me right away. Though, I believe I would have remembered a face as beautiful as yours. What is your name?"

Things have changed slightly, but what was it? This wasn't exactly how I had pictured it. My eyes pierced into his own, and I saw the astonishment in his voice as a muffled "no..." escaped his mouth. I knew immediately that he knew who I was, and I turned away. Walking briskly past him, into the crowd. I knew he was following me. I would wait until there was no one in sight before I turned back around to him. "Bella... Bella please wait!" He cried out, and was that a hint of agony I heard in his voice.

I spun around and looked him in the eye "You left me! You abandoned me! And on top of all that, Edward Mason... you killed me!" I put my hands over my mouth much too slowly. The pain in his eyes was too much to bear, and I turned back around. This time he did not follow me. This time he ran as far and as fast in the opposite direction as he could.

Upon entering the now Cullen house in Italy, Alice met me at the door. "He is really hurt Bella..."

"I don't care." I stated, as I dramatically pulled my hair to one side, to reveal to all the scar that is embedded into my skin on my neck. I was being irrational, but I was in so much pain myself. She took in a sharp breath, "Bella... you have to understand. That was so long ago, and he still tortures himself. Bella, don't you feel his anguish?"

"Does he feel mine!!" I screamed, as I yearned for tears to fall. "It hurts so much, Alice! To stare into his eyes, and not go weak, to want him this much after all this time. It is as if he never left to begin with!"

Alice gave me this deceiving smile and said "Bella, when will you stop fighting what is meant to be," and with that, she walked away. Before reaching the top of the staircase she turned around and whispered to me "Open the door, Bella."

Opening the door, as if a robot on command, I gasped audibly. Before me was Edward... but this time it was not the Edward that tried to kill me. It was Edward Cullen, my fiance... my one and only. He dropped to his knees and held me around my waist. "Bella, please... what do you want me to do? Please, all I ask is your forgiveness, but I know I don't deserve even an iota of your time."

Instinctively, I put my hand on the top of his copper tone head, twisting the lockets within my fingers. Taking in every moment of his embrace. I wanted him to know I forgave him, but did I really? With my other hand I touched my scar, in that instant he looked up and noticed, and suddenly backed away with great speed. "I'm so sorry, Bella. Please... one day forgive me. I will be here waiting," and he turned to walk away, but I grabbed his arm. I took his fingers into my own and held his hand tightly. No words came from my mouth, but I pressed his fingers to my scar. "You did this, Edward. You." The calm in my voice was eerie.

The agony in his eyes as he thought of it. The pure pain that was echoing through his body "Bella..." he was clenching his teeth "You don't understand..."

"I do understand, Edward. I know you were trying to save me. Instead you made me immortal and then you left me, for centuries." My voice was still steady.

"I thought I had actually killed you Bella!"

"You were okay with that?"

"BELLA I TRIED MANY TIMES TO KILL MYSELF AS WELL!" The echo in the house from his boom, made me shutter. I could still hear the words kill lingering. I touched his face and I looked into his eyes "We cannot fight what is inevitable. We are part of each other Edward. You are my soul, my life. I cannot live this immortal eternity without you."

Edward embraced me, and filled me with the most passionate kiss I had ever felt. The power, and the force behind it. His lips were actually contouring to mine, leaving impressions on each other.

My Edward... My love... was back.


	8. AN

AN: So, this fanfiction has not been updated for over a year, I'm really sorry for that. But, let me tell you a lot has happened. I graduated from school (licensed Massage Therapist now) and I am now married and I moved! :) So I will now restart where I left off. I hope those who were waiting are not too upset. Though know, that I do not have as much time I did before, with a job and all. But I have monday's off and sometimes, friday's too... Don't expect a TON of updates ALL the time, but I will try and squeeze one out once a week or so. :) Hang in there.

Just some hints about the future:

Edward IS NOT BACK! He has to betray Bella just a few more times before "he's back". Edward is still controlled by the Volturi.

PS: This book has NOTHING to do with Breaking Dawn. It's as if that book never happened, BUT I will be making a fanfiction soon with Breaking dawn! :) So Happiness to all!

And IM BACK! :) :)


	9. Reunion and Distrust

Edward stayed for most of that week, intertwined in loving embrace with Bella, in her large bed overlooking the veranda the Cullens had. They hardly left her bedroom for days, but soon Carlisle, Alice and the rest of the Cullen family wanted to catch up with their estranged family member.

The Cullens and Edward all sat at in the Living Room around the large Cherry Wood coffee table and the long black Italian Leather couch Alice insisted on buying. There was a large, black, grand piano in the background that no one had touched since it was purchased, a reminder to us all that there was still one missing in our coven.

"I see that Emmett and Rose have left. How long has this been?" Edward asked Carlisle.

"About half a century ago, they are staying in England for a while, but they have written that they will be back soon. Missing the family too much they say. Hunting isnt the same Emmett admits." Carlisle said with a chuckle.

Edward smiled at the thought of the days he would hunt with his family, and Bella was still his to love and hold, finally he stated with much quickness to get the subject moving along, she he didn't have to endure this reminescent torture much longer, "I still work for them, you all know right?"

"Yes, but now you are free to go, no? Bella is immortal." Carlisle replied

"Yes and No, Carlisle... they do not know Bella is immortal, they believe Bella to be dead. They wanted Bella if she were to become immortal. One of Aro's minions had a vision that Bella possessed great gifts they could use their advantage."

Alice spoke, Bella's gifts being a subject she herself held dear "But Bella is no different then me, we both have visions," she shifted her eyes toward Bella, not wanting to give too much away if Edward was still work for Volturi. Edward eyed his younger sister, but he could no longer see into her head, she had forced herself to remain aloof around him. He knew she didn't trust him, and Bella even though immortal was still a closed shell. Edward was very wary of this distrust with his family. Bella kept herself stoic of the whole situation between Edward and the Volturi and her gifts, whatever they may be. The scar on her neck radiated, was it because she was around Edward? She wouldn't let anyone know about her pain. She had learned long ago to keep herself hidden, save for Carlisle, who know immediately what had placed such a indifferent look on his youngest daughter's face.

Edward looked at Alice and then to Bella not knowing the secrets between them, he knew he had to give away more on his end to gain back their trust, "The vision Aro was told stated that Bella," he grabbed her hand lovingly "had the power to control other's mind and move objects with her own mind as well. Also, she has a very powerful mental block and can keep anyone away, so she could be held in confidence about things and no one else would know about it. Also she could erase things from other's minds because of her powerful mental capacities." He looked at Alice for any sign of truth in this vision. Alice did not flinch, but she did, however, enter Bella's mind without Edward's knowledge.

_Is it true, Bella?_ Alice was saying in only Bella's mind, _don't act like you can hear me, and remain, well like you are, stoic. _

_I don't know, I've never tried to do anything like that. What do you think?_ Bella replied.

"We've never seen Bella experience any of these gifts, however, it was nearly a century before Bella was aware and used her first gift of visions." Carlisle replied to Edward, knowing that there were secret conversation about and wanting to keep Edwarddistracted. All the Cullens were a bit skeptical, Edward had after all tried to kill Bella some time ago, something all the Cullens imaged would never have been possible.

_I think we should test out his theory and see if maybe we just haven't tapped into your source yet, but later, when _he_ isn't around,_ Alice stated sharply at the end. _He isn't staying much longer_, she stated flatly.

Edward looked to Bella for an answer now, but she did not meet his gaze. She never liked to look at him anymore, his eyes were ever changing. Sometimes they were the same beautiful eyes she had grown to love and had protected her for so many years, and other times, most of the time, they were sharp and cold and almost indifferent. She no longer trusted Edward's eyes for they constantly betrayed him, and betrayed the feelings she was longing to hold on to. She looked to the ground "The only gift, to my knowledge I possess, Edward is the gift of vision, like Alice said."

Edward lifted Bella's chin to his, forcing Bella to look into his eyes, she felt the pain in her neck, it seared and her emotionless state strained a little, catching Edward's glace "What's wrong?" he asked worriedly. The others remained silent, they already knew. She got up from her spot on the couch with Edward and looked away, placing her hand on her neck "Nothing, I'm just a bit concerned with the topic. What is it you're looking for Edward?" She asked what everyone was wondering, to keep herself away from topic.

Edward looked taken aback and replied "Does no one here trust me?" All the Cullens looked at the ground, but Bella stayed strong as she continued "You were gone for over a century, Edward. We are mates, you and I, but there is much time that has passed. I am no longer the Bella you left behind, so frail and weak, in spirit and mortality. I sense there is something deeper in your reappearance. You did state in the beginning that you are still working for the Volturi, they are the ones that commanded you to kill me, and therefore left me in my immortal state." Edward smiled up at her "Is that all everyone is worried about? My dealings with the Volturi? I only said that to be perfectly honest with all of you." Edward sighed greatly "I came here to ask all of your help, I plan to revolt against the Volturi and leave them crushed. So we never have to worry about them again."

"They have you under their control though." Bella stated with apprehension.

"I have been left to do as I please for more then half a century now. They only call upon me to hear about the happenings in other parts of the world. I am more and less a free man. They did however ask me to come here, I only thought it mere coincidence that I should run into you, Bella before I get here. They want to know why the Cullens have traveled so far from their American getaway. I figured I would pay my respects to Bella, as well as ask you all what has happened to lead you so far from home, I too am curious."

Alice again entered Bella's mind, _He sounds like a spy, I don't know about this._ Bella took in what she was saying but did not respond.

Carlisle answered in a matter of fact voice "We thought it pertinent to get Bella away from all she has known. She spent the beginnings of her vampire life saying goodbye to everyone she ever loved." He did not mention the person Bela still missed to this day, Jacob.

"I see." Edward stated emotionlessly, he knew that his named ran across the list of loved ones Bella lost.

Bella's mind fell upon Jacob, aged and then lifeless in his coffin, some centuries ago. She sat back down next to Edward, letting not a single emotion fall upon her face. It took some time, but she learned to control every ounce of her being, "Do you plan on staying for a while, Edward?"

Edward looked to his former family and responded to all of them "Unfortunately I have other things that need my attention before I can stay for good, but rest assured it will not be another century before I come back again." He smiled at them all. He took Bella's hand and they both stood up together "I suppose it's as good a time as any to leave," he announced to everyone, and walked hand in hand with Bella to the front door of the Cullens Tuscan mansion. "I will be back before you know it, my love." He whispered to Bella. Bella kissed his cheek lightly, "I will wait for you, as always."

Edward opened the door and walked away. He was almost invisible to the eye when Bella heard in the lowest of whispers "Don't trust me yet, Bella..." And then all was silent.


	10. Preparing for A Hunt

She closed the door on her past and her heart, if she had one, raced a mile a minute._ My future with him is still so unknown, will I ever trust him again_, Bella thought to herself.

Alice materialized next to her and held her shoulders "Are you okay?" Being that Bella had been alone in her journey as a vampire for over a century now, only having heartbreak after heartbreak before her, Alice knew even if Bella didn't show it, that Bella hurt most of the time.

Bella never talked about her emotions anymore, save with Carlisle and only sometimes when she herself couldn't bare it anymore. She stiffened and let go what she thought of Edward before. "I'll be fine," Bella stated and continued on a different topic, "How are we going to try and figure out my plausible gifts?"

"Well, if Edward said what was true, you could ultimately make Edward forget he ever had a pact with the Volturi, you could make yourself forget Edward tried to kill you. Bella if what Edward says is true, your gifts are far more powerful then any other I've ever encountered. We must see if we can train you to open up to your gifts, maybe because of who you are they are dormant."

"Because of who I am?"

"You are such a great and loving person, Bella. You would never want such powerful gifts for yourself, to use on others." Alice hugged Bella lovingly. Bella stiffening, contact was something she still wasn't use to. It set her skin ablaze when anyone or anything touched it. She was so used to being alone.

To that Carlisle walked in, "Bella, I believe that Edward is right. I know it may seem far fetched with how long it has been since your transformation, but a powerful gift like your own needs to grown and mature before you will ever see it. I think it is time we begin to practice with it."

Day after day Bella would practice with Carlisle and Alice, for several months they were doing absolutely nothing, save for staring at each other and sometimes just conversing casually. One fine morning, however, about a week after Edward left, Bella entered Alice's mind, listening to her thoughts, though mostly she was humming a song to herself. "I DID IT!" Bella yelled excitedly.

Alice looked at her "All you did was enter my mind. Make me do something!" Alice gave her a playful jab. Bella went back into Alice's mind and thought of something she wanted, something Alice would never normally do. She flinched slight as she thought of something that would be completely against Alice's will and placed it in her mind. Alice started walking towards Bella, around the same time Jasper entered the room, for precautionary measures. Alice stopped inches from Bella's face and kissed her right on the lips, passionately. Alice's mind was blank and Bella released Alice's mind. Alice backed up a foot or so and said "That is something I never want to experience again!" Jasper had a sly grin on his face. Carlisle was adjusting his stance to pretend he didn't see anything.

Bella looked at Alice apologetically "Sorry, I just wanted to make you do something I knew you would never do in real life."

Alice looked at Bella, "I wasn't talking about the kiss, though good choice in what you wanted to make me do. When you made my body act against its will, my entire body was at your beck and call. It felt like I did not own my body but was a mere bystander inside of it, and on top of that I couldn't see anything that was going to happen while you were working on getting me to do something against my will. It was as if, I didn't even have the gift of foresight. My brain was so blank!" Alice gave a little chuckle. Jasper took Alice's hand and gave Alice a peck on the cheek.

"I believe we have trained enough today. Bella, I know you will be working on this all night, but I think you should not focus on the manipulation of others until you have mastered your telekinetic abilities. Why don't you try and rearrange your room without touching anything."

Thus, began Bella's obsession with rearranging her room.

**Several Months Later:**

"Bella, get out of my head! I know you don't want me to kill the deer for you! Now let's go, we have to hunt!"

_You made that last part up, Emmett. I never asked you to kill anything for me!_ Bella was playfully bantering in his head.

Emmett gave a loud chuckle. Bella only wanted to see what Emmett was thinking, it was obvious all he cared about was food at this point. Emmett and Rose had moved in to the spare bedroom next to Bella and Alice. They liked England fine, but missed their family too much. "Half a century is long enough without you gang!" Emmett said when they came back. Rose missed her family too but she was a bit fussier about showing it, "I would not have minded staying a few extra millennia." She gave Emmett and sweet peck on the cheek, and winked at Alice and Bella.

Bella had only seen Edward once more and he was more distant then previously. It seemed like he was straining to be around her, as if every inch of him was under some other control. There meeting was brief, to which Edward said he was ready to start his removal from the Volturi. Bella tried to ask what made his mind up, but Edward didn't answer. When Edward left, Bella locked herself in isolation for days, only Alice and Carlisle saw her and it was seldom. Carlisle would ask her to talk to him, in a worried fatherly tone but Bella wanted nothing to do with her emotions towards Edward at the present. Alice would try to cheer her up with new clothes or other materialistic things, even going so far as to buy Bella a new car, to which Bella took the keys and handed them to Rose later as a Welcome Home present. Alice didn't mind, she knew Bella was going to even before she bought the car. _A new car is a new car_, Alice said to herself as she bought the Lexus IS F in electric blue.

Most of the time Bella locked herself in her room, and rearranged her room with her mind, while she sat on her bed, which moved several times with her still on it. Once she rearranged her bedroom to look exactly like Edward's room back in Forks had looked without realizing it she quickly stormed out of the room in a fit of emotions and everyone who was near suddenly felt light headed and disoriented, to which Rose shouted "BELLA STOP IT! YOU'RE BEING A BABY!" Drawing Bella out of her funk after realizing she was hurting others.

Emmett was packing up the cars for the hunting trip with Rose and Jasper. Bella was packing her luggage in her room with her mind. She was trying to train herself to multi-task with her mental gifts so she could accomplish more. Carlisle said it was so she could use her strengths and her mind in a fight. Bella didn't want to think about fights.

Carlisle walked into Bella's room, "All set?" he asked politely. Clothes and some music players whirled past his head on there own and settled themselves into Bella's luggage. "Bella, were going hunting, not on a vacation." She turned around to face her vampire father "I know, I just want to be left alone. I'm secluding myself with music and books. I don't want to accidentally go into someone's mind or anything like that." Carlisle embraced Bella's shoulders "Everyone knows you don't do it on purpose Bella. You're still trying to master your gift. It's gotten better," Carlisle added. Several times Carlisle and Alice were both doing things they never thought about doing, such as making human food, or cleaning Bella's room.

"What does it feel like when my gift tells you to do something?" She asked Carlisle.

"Like the only thing I have control of is my thoughts, my muscles are all under your control, I couldn't even try and move if I wanted to. It's like all your free will has been stripped of you."

While in training, Bella could barely penetrate someone else's thoughts, now she can implant false memories, destroy old ones and see anyone's thoughts at any distance away. All she has to do is concentrate, and there she is inside someone's mind. She can be undetected but she can also make herself known. The thought of going into Edward's mind was off limits Carlisle insisted.

"Carlisle..." Bella began but soon she had faded, another vision was taking over her.

_Bella was pinned to the damp earth ground, she was trying to break lose but couldn't get out of his grasp. Edward was no longer a vegetarian and had not been for well over a century, his strength was paralyzing to Bella. "Bella, why don't you trust me yet!" Edward screamed.__Bella cried "You told me not to! You said not to trust you! Why did you say that to me and then beg for my trust?!" Edward growled at her and slapped her in the face "Shut up! That's a lie!"  
Bella squirmed against him, "Please stop this, Edward. I know you don't want to hurt me!" Edward's eyes faltered from their aggressive hatred to the soft loving he always felt for her, but he regained his composure fast "Bella, my sweet Bella. Do you want me to show you my undying love?" Bella tried harder to free herself without her gifts, she couldn't show him anything.  
"I only want to show you how much I still love you, Bella. STOP SQUIRMING!" Edward's voice was cold and harsh; he was snapping the buttons off her shirt.  
_...I can't use my powers,_ Bella thought to herself,_ that's what he wants. He is going to tell the Volturi and then what will happen to me?_ Bella went limp in his arms, as he ripped off her shirt, and exposed her pale skin to him. She was straining to keep her power under control; she didn't want Edward to figure it out.  
Edward kissed her hard on the lips and whispered "I'll always love you, I promise I'll never hurt you on purpose," in her ear as he stroked her neck with his fingers._


End file.
